Choose Your Own Adventure: Should I Watch The Expendables 3? [Movies, Reviews]

Imagine this:

Barney (Sylvester Stallone) is looking to recruit some young blood to his Expendables team at a nightclub with a friend. He finds Luna (Ronda Rousey, super duper MMA UFC Fighter), an attractive hostess who also turns out to be the nightclub’s bouncer.

Ronda Rousey in The Expendables 3

After watching her take care of some douchebags (with heels on), Barney decides, this woman is perfect to bring with me into armed conflict in a third world nation as a soldier in my guerilla crew.

As an audience member, do you think:

1) Wow, this is terrible. I can’t watch this, this is way way way beyond believability. Over over-the-top silliness.

2) Ronda Rousey kicking butt!? AWESOME. That is all I need to know.

Your response above is all you need to know.

My thoughts: 6/10. The worst of the Expendables films, but still very watchable. Over over over over-the-top action, silly plot. More old action heroes, with a mix of youth (like Rousey) to create some predictable team friction and then cohesiveness (spoiler?). If there’s anything bad from having too many names you recognize on the roster, it’s that no one does anything particularly impressive, there just isn’t enough screen time for anyone not named Stallone. (Side note: the way this movie is cut, it feels like it was filmed 2-3 seconds at a time, where an actor would say one quick line, then “CUT!”, and so on for 2 hours of movie. I wonder if actors really enjoy filming this way.)

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