One mission in my life right now is get people to use “Typical Vietnamese” in their daily lives. It’s almost like an FML type of word. I even registered it on Urban Dictionary, the same definition you see below, but it got rejected (no reason stated, so unhelpful), probably because it’s too long, and I don’t feel like editing it.
Embrace it, use it, but don’t enjoy it, because you can’t.
Typical Vietnamese:
Image by Daniel Gasienica via Flickr
(n, adj) A Vietnamese person that exemplifies the worst of Vietnamese bullshit. An easy way to recognize this person if you are somehow at fault for something, when it is not actually your fault. Even when the other person has admitted fault, and yet, you are still at fault. If you are ever are talking to someone and wanting to ask him “What the fuck is wrong with you?”, you may have encountered a Typical Vietnamese.
- Example A: You go into a restaurant and eat your meal. After requesting the bill, you patiently wait about 30 minutes and go through a few more requests for the bill. You receive the bill and pay for it, and make you way towards the door. Right when you get to the door, the staff calls you back and says you paid the wrong amount. You paid the amount on the bill. But, the bill isn’t correct, you were given the wrong bill. The manager blames his young staff and looks at you with his “I don’t care” eyes and his empty “sorry, but you have to pay the bill even though I have provided horrendous customer service for you today. I may be the manager, but it’s okay if you never come back". This is somehow your fault and thus, you pay the bill, 40 minutes after you first asked for it. Typical Vietnamese.
- Example B: You go into a restaurant and order. They bring out an appetizer. You didn’t order it, but it’s probably a sample on the house, which is nice, and you check it out. 5 minutes later, after you’ve finished it, the waitress comes out and tells you, “Ah, we accidentally gave you that dish”. You respond, “Ah, I thought it was a free dish.” She replies, “Please understand, there are no free dishes” and looks at you, standing there, telling you that this is your fault with her eyes. Typical Vietnamese.
- Example C: You are in a taxi. You give the driver the destination and the street and he drives. Halfway through the ride, he asks, is this the place by (some street or thing). You say, “yes”. He says, “why didn’t you say so? I could have taken the other street, and it would have been so much faster”. You think to yourself, what is this guy talking about? I did tell him the place. Am I supposed to give him, the driver, Google Map directions? He repeats this (“why didn’t you tell me earlier?”) about 5 more times on the twenty minute ride to emphasize how this is your fault. Typical Vietnamese. Later, you realize you are lucky, as on the way home, you get into another taxi and give directions. He looks a bit perplexed, so you ask, “Do you know this place”. He says, yes. “Are you sure?” “Yes, no problem.” Ten minutes later, he calls his friend to ask about the destination- you’ve wasted $5 on the meter, ten minutes getting lost, and your tolerance for bullshit. Typical Vietnamese.
Can also be used to describe a situation that involves “Typical Vietnamese” characteristics, especially those occurring in Vietnam, and be used in a verbal sandwich in angry moments as “Typical Fucking Vietnamese”.
- Example D: There is a repaving project on a busy street. It seems to be a simple job, yet takes about 4 weeks too long and when you go by, you see 1 person working, and 6 others watching him work. The next time, you don’t see anyone, period. The project blocks traffic, causing massive traffic jams, worsening an already poor traffic situation. The project finishes, but when they finally let normal traffic flow again, the paving looks terrible. One week later, the paving project starts over again. Typical Fucking Vietnamese.
Oh you!
Ha ha funny but it’s true
This post is bad PR for VN, I guess. Everything has two sides. Post another typical good Vietnamese! For example, Typical Vietnamese Women (lovely huh, my foreign friends all said that)
You didn’t hear? Jimmy is the project manager for all the paving projects in Saigon . His reputation in implementing the street flood control project up in Hanoi is well known down here
Haha