Staying with a friend for a while until I can find my own place. My friend has a 5 year old, whom I’ve had the privilege of learning a little about parenthood around. I try to act like his dad, be upset when I need to be, discipline by spanking, even.
I don’t really like kids. I don’t dislike them, but I’ve always run in to trouble because kids, when they’re that young, always have a tendency to switch from cute and funny to please die you annoying brat, I would kill you myself but you’re not my kid.
Even when it comes to having kids, I don’t think I won’t have kids, but imagining myself with kids is very difficult. It’s always….a long ways away, and in my mind I’m not closer to now now than I was 5, or even 10 years ago (I’m 28 in a month).
With my friend’s son, there are moments I think, I want one of these things (!), and plenty of others when I think, leave me alone kid.
My sister and I tell each other that we’d rather babysit than parent, so we tell each other the other is the one who needs to have the kids. I’m almost 6 years older than her, so I guess I’m the prime suspect for now. Then again, she’s got the baby organs.
Most of all, though, I still think of myself as a kid, and while in a lot of ways I’ve matured, I don’t think really consider myself a big, bad adult, ready or even willing to lead another generation into this world, especially when I have no idea what the next 5 years will hold for me. I’d rather look up to my parents and then look down as one.
Tags: parenting, Random, sister
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